Friday, December 29, 2006

Never Been Spanked

Title: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
Author: Anne Rice, writing as A.N. Rouquelaure

It’s an innocent childhood tale, a story mothers tell every night to tuck their sweet little ones into bed. Once upon a time, they croon, a beautiful princess was cursed by a Wicked Fairy to prick her finger upon a spindle and die upon her sixteenth birthday. But the Good Fairy, who couldn’t let the Wicked Fairy upstage her in such a dastardly manner, modified the curse so that the beautiful princess would merely sleep – along with her parents and the rest of the royal household – for one hundred years, until Prince Charming should come along and wake her with a chaste, delicate kiss on the lips.

All happens as the Good Fairy foretells – the Princess sleeps, one hundred years pass, and a Prince battles his way through the jungle to waken her. And the story stops there, with Beauty and Prince Charming presumably riding off together into the sunset, to live together happily ever after among butterflies and bunnies and bonny bouncing poppets.

But in Anne Rice’s world, this is just where the fun begins. And when I say fun, I actually mean spanking. Lots and lots of spanking.

What little plot there is to The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty didn’t really register with me, since I mostly skimmed from one dirty section to another to laugh over how scandalous the spanking truly got (a friend gave me the book to cheer me up after a particularly stressful week at work.) But here’s what I managed to pick up:

After the Prince wakens Beauty (with something amounting to rather more than a kiss), he claims her as a tribute to take back as a sex slave to his own kingdom. Her royal parents don’t object too strenuously to the idea, since they were once slaves, too, and remember how the experience made them “wise.” A little sexual servitude, they figure, will do Beauty some good. As Emo Phillips once said: “You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”

In fact, the Prince’s palace is basically one big continual spanking orgy. How his family has time for ruling a country or collecting taxes I never really figured out, since they’re pretty much “distracted” twenty-four hours a day. There are naked sex slaves everywhere, scurrying about on their hand and knees. The castle even comes complete with punishment rooms, one for those who find themselves “reluctant” in their slave duties, and another for those who find themselves…er…a little too eager. Guess which group Beauty falls into?

Indeed, Beauty is so adept at being spanked that she eventually attracts the eye of the intimidating and possibly evil Queen herself. She also manages to find time in her busy spanking schedule for an affair with another slave, Prince Alexi, who tells her all about his experience with spanking. Eventually, Beauty misbehaves badly enough (deliberately, I think), so that she gets sent to “the village” for more spanking punishment, where she will be auctioned off to some plebian for a summer’s worth of labor (use your imagination). She meets the handsome and blue-eyed Prince Tristan on the cart carrying them to the village, and even though they’re both tied up, they immediately have flexible acrobatic sex (but no spanking). As for what happens next, you’ll have to wait for ket to review the second book. (Yes, it is a trilogy!)

Basically, all you need to know is that someone gets spanked or chained about every five pages or so. Beauty herself, I think, is naked for the entire book. And there’s lots and lots of sex, with no gender restrictions whatsoever. But no animals…at least not yet. There are rumors, I hear, of a kitten somehow becoming involved in the sequels.

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posted by Elizabeth at 1:45 PM


Blogger Kat said...

Wow, I must rush out and purchase this immediately!

That's a lot of spanking! What IS the point of that book?

1/02/2007 4:49 PM  

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