Rage in the Page: Uh, more vampires. Yeah.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Title: A Quick Bite
Author: Lynsay Sands

Dr. Greg Something-or-other is a psychologist who specializes in curing phobias. Marguerite kidnaps him to cure her daughter’s hemophobia – she faints when she sees blood. This wouldn’t be a big problem, but Marguerite, Lissiana, and the rest of their family are vampires. Apparently the vampire council of some sort decided a while back that vampires should feed from bags of blood they obtain from some sort of blood bank, but Lissiana can’t handle seeing the bag of blood, so she has to still bite people. Apparently vampires (at least this branch of them…) also have the ability to read minds and control people. So, anyway, Lissi’s out with her cousins, comes home, and finds Greg tied up on her bed and waiting for her, so she figures he’s a birthday present from mom, and starts feeding. Also, feeding apparently involves making out. Anyway, they sortof clear things up after the family bursts into the bedroom while she’s making out with/feeding from Greg, who rather enjoys it.

Anyway, apparently they have a harder time than normal controlling Greg, so the vampire council considers “taking care of” him. Lissi therefore escapes with him.

Oh! Sub-plot! Lissi volunteers at a homeless shelter – her theory was that she’d be able to feed on various residents, and they’d be transient enough that she could do so on a regular basis without anyone noticing. The problem is that a lot of the homeless folk are regulars, and also that a lot of them are on mind-altering substances, which Lissi discovers after she feeds on their blood and is suddenly drunk or high. But the point of mentioning this is that the priest who runs the shelter somehow figures out that she’s a vampire, and starts trying to ward her off by putting crosses all over her desk (doesn’t work), feeding her a garlic-laden soup (another myth), and so on, and nobody catches on. Duh!

At some point “someone” breaks into the house and stakes her in the chest. Thankfully, vampires also have super-awesome healing powers, and she survives.

Also, Lissi and Greg fall in love. But she’s immortal, and he’ll die! Oh, I guess she should just turn him into a vampire, even though he’ll have to stop talking to his family forever, because pretty soon they’ll realize he’s not aging.

So the priest kidnaps them, and he and his henchman wound Greg and Lissi, and chain them in the sun (that part’s semi-true – they can’t handle a LOT of sun), hoping they’ll die, but somehow the vampire family figures it out and saves them, and Greg and Lissi will live happily ever after forever and ever and ever.

Labels: romantic "suspense", trashy romance, vampires